Quite a few of the queries I’m sending out to literary agents ask for a one sentence pitch for the book.
Which of these do you like the best? Do you have a better idea?
1. Can young love and a passionate commitment to high ideals survive the forces of fascism, populism and propaganda in Red Vienna on the eve of World War II?
2. In Red Vienna, idealistic young lovers Gisi and Max watch their dream city fall to the forces of fascism as the second world war looms
3. In Red Vienna, young idealists Gisi and Max fall in love at the 1929 International Socialist Youth Congress and set to work creating a more caring world, but can they hold onto their vision when their beloved utopia is destroyed by racism, nationalism and civil war?
4. With shocking parallels to recent events in the United States and Europe, this book – based on a true story – tells of an idealistic young couple confronting the forces of rising fascism and civil war in Vienna on the eve of World War II.
Thanks so much for your input.
22 thoughts on “Pick your favorite”
I think the question is who are you targeting the book towards? Who are you writing it for?
#1 and #2 may attract the romantic light reader
#3 took the liberty to change this > > 3. In 1929 in Red Vienna, the young idealists Gisi and Max fall in love and set to work creating a more caring world, but can they hold onto their vision when their beloved country is destroyed by racism, nationalism and civil war? >
#4. Love this one. It would target educated history minded concerned citizens who are curious but not interested in a romantic story
Lots of great ideas! Need to narrow your audience and decide:)
Let me know what you choose! Shelley
Thanks, Shelley. It’s aimed at both kind of audiences – the ones who already get it and want the details, and the ones who are drawn into the history by the love story.
I like a hybrid of 2 and 4. The modern day comparison is compelling but so is the actual story
Great, thank you!
I can hardly wait to read your new novel!
I like the fourth sentence best. And if you could work in the names of Gisi and Max to that one it would warm it up even more.
Sent from my iPhone
Thanks – can’t wait for you to read it!
I like #1 but overall, #3 is a better introduction to the story
Can you blend 1&4?
Ooh, good idea! Thanks.
Hello!! I like them all, but vote for #4, with one change: the words: “in the United States and Europe” should be changed to “in the United States and around the world.” These dangerous harbingers of history repeating in dire new ways are apparent in Brazil, India, and other places as well. One question: does the entirety of the book take place in Vienna (as all these queries would seem to indicate) leaving the drama involving flight to other places for later volumes? If so, they are all accurate. Remember, while I can sometime make this elquadrillo address function, the preferred way to reach me is at email@example.com! Hoping things are peaceful and healthful where you are! With love, Eric
Hi Eric! Thanks so much for your comments and suggestions. It’s always good to hear from you.
This book goes from 1929, the height of Red Vienna, to the Austrian Civil War in 1934.
You may be subscribed to this blog under your old address. I’ll see if I can change it, but you may have to do it from your end.
Eric has been one of my best friends now for 34 years! I too agree that #4 is my favorite statement.
With LOVE to you and Tom and of course your beasts!
Thanks, Nancy. Much love to you and yours!
I like number four because it states that it is based on a true story. Also, the comparison to the unrest in our world today, keeps a world war two story relevant.
Thanks, Linda. That’s really helpful.
My present comment (having already shared my thoughts about my preference for #4 with a slight revision) is that I am sending this from the dancingsilverowl address, in hopes that doing so activates the “you may have to do it from your end” in your response to my comment. I like the ideas and questions the others are sharing, and, when it comes to intended audience, have been assuming that those most interested in the book will be active citizens of the world, looking to learn what can be learned from history not only for its intrinsic interest, but also its usefulness in the present. With Trump blatantly seeking to disable and discredit the coming election, blatantly encouraging violent white supremacists, and blatantly seeking to cram someone more loyal to him than to the Constitution into the Supreme Court BEFORE THE ELECTION, to stack a court that could anoint him for another term, it is easy to feel overwhelmed; what we most need, however, is to be connected, not only with those now living, but also with those who have gone before us and who have much to teach us. You are creating a strong connection with such needed teachers!
Thanks so much, Eric. I always value your opinion!
_Hi Eve!_ _My thoughts:_ _1. I love the lyrical poetry and it’s concision, but it might be too succinct._ _2. Too vague_ _3. The most complete, gives a more thorough overview. I love the descriptors love, beloved, utopia, caring, vision; they lead me to hope the ultimate outcome will surmount racism, nationalism and civil war._ _4. No. I would not be interested in a book with shocking parallels to today. This would absolutely turn me away from it._
_I like the information that it’s based on a true story. Perhaps include that in #3:_ _Based on a true story, in Red Vienna, young idealists Gisi and Max fall in love . . ._
_Just wondering: does it have a happy ending?_ _Much Love & Light to you and Tom!_ _Jo_
Thanks, Jo. That’s really helpful! The love story ends well. Not so much other things.
#2 is nice but I think the parallel to current events now is more gripping…….but if Biden wins by a wide enough margin and Trump falls into history that angle might lose some of its appeal (preferable!!!)
Kathy http://KathyBornino.com http://ImagineHealingandAwakening.com blog/website
One can hope.